How I came to be content being a misfit in the Christian community

A couple weeks ago, I had the opportunity to speak for the first night of Southern Adventist University's Student Week of Prayer. The theme was "Radically Chosen," and we were asked to share about our experiencing choosing to follow God. 

For me, choosing to follow God is intricately tied up with my sense of "identity." As a Mexican-American immigrant, I have spent most of my life hoping to "fit in" and building my sense of comfort off of how well I belonged. Nevertheless, I still have struggled with feelings of loneliness, isolation, and being miscast.

In the following message, I share how God taught me to be content being a misfit and why a little doubt and a little anger in your spirituality isn’t the end of the world when you’re being held by the most compassionate arms in the universe. (My message begins at 22:00)

Para mi mama (To my mother)

Gracias, mami. Aqui va una poesía pequeña y muy simple, pero viene de toda sinceridad y con todo mi cariño. Desafortunadamente, esta en Ingles. ^_^

I can't ever know, I won't ever know. The amount of energy, the limits I pushed.

The late nights I caused, while you waited for me to return. Sacrifices on my behalf, not oftentimes appreciating them.

Sometimes, I feel like I get it, I feel like I understand the depth, the intensity of your love towards me. But no, it is still too mysterious.

On your lap I was raised, en tus ojos aprendi mucho, your prayers sustained me, you were a vessel for my salvation.

I still have much to learn in the way of being a son, todavia dejo mis cosas para el ultimo momento, so here's a hug, here's an I-miss-you-mum.

May you be rewarded for the efforts, rewarded for the cariño maravilloso, por el buen Señor Nuestro. I promise to not let it waste.

I can't ever know, I won't ever know, pero gracias mami, muchas gracias.